To Take Help
I was in an emergency for money. Not a huge amount but big enough that I didn’t have it in my account. It was a payment I had to do quickly. In a desperate attempt, though I was feeling bad, I called my friend and asked, “Could you give it to me now? I’ll payback by evening; I promise.” There was no response back. I messed it up. He hates me now. I look like a guy who can’t handle his own life; I look like a beggar. I can’t face him from tomorrow. I received a notification on my phone. Money received. I put back the phone on my ear through sweaty palm. He said, “You need not explain the payback period and reasons why you need it. If you need it, just ask.”
I’m the ultimatum
We know how to help others but not how to take it. If you ask for help, it feels as though you are asking for a payback. You are too ashamed to ask. You want to be the ultimate person everyone should come to get help, not the one who asks for one. How cheap would that look? How come you ask for help as a payback for help you did before! Is friendship a business transaction! You are just to be available for everyone, not to expect everyone else to be available for you.
But you aren’t
Reality isn’t a movie though. It’s complex and you might not be able to solve all the problems by yourself. That is why we have friends; to help you get on with life smoothly. You might be a finance freak, saving some money in your account all the time; but this is one of those times where you are out of cash. You are an emotionally strong person all your life, but you just got laid off from your company; you feel lonely and scared as hell. We all have our not-so-great days, and people around us are here to help get over the valley.
How dare you!
Asking for help might feel selfish. I argue, not asking for it is selfish. You are good to help, but they aren’t? All of us want to help each other, improving our friendship through it. The pride you get when you help your friend, how dare you not let them feel it too! Let your people help you climb and you too can be there for them when they need it.
Acknowledge. That’s it.
Business is defined by calculated support. I helped you at your worst, lets write up a bond that you’ll help me at my worst. Friendship is un-calculated support. I’ll help you whenever you need me. As a payback, keep taking my support. No money, No counter help, No thankyous. Only acknowledge the fact that we are in this together, not you alone.